My sister is dying in front of me in my own house and there is nothing I can do . AND YOU STILL WANT ME TO BE SIERRA. Somebody be sympathetic to  what I am going through every fucking day. getting married won’t save me , my mother is a member of a cult and my only release is S&M. Yes I am a book ready to be written. I just fucked a guy I hate cause I am lonely and broken. Please Kali  take me away from this now.

” you know how I feel…its a new dawn its a new day…” nina simone ringing softly in my head this morning as I enjoy the rise of the sun. I am content at this very moment. I love seasons that begin with the letter S. smile, satisfaction,sun, sex, salutations.
Namastae

I’ve only been blinded by lust once. it was a wonderful teriffying loss of control. I rememeber feelibg his breath made me cum I was so nievezm yet I don’t remember his name …

starting a new life is strange and exhilerating. I admit I had worrys at first but as I go arund just doors and saying farwells I think its is the right course to take. its not like I am leaving all the remnants of my old life. and so as I close the others unlock I didn’t even think of. my stress level may have decreased some thoug I fear boerdom may replace it . heard a statement from a friend today that rang true. I liked my life and the things it allowed me to do but I grown tired of what it takes to have those things. I’m not saying I dislike them I’m just to tired to do it

its been a long rode with occasional fruit . I am determined to walk this rode it is good in the end the sky is filled with diamonds.
sitting I a beutiful jacuzzi bath M P made me very upset with his jealousy. I love my new Tiffany necklace. I love baths . bored

I get to train another Master. Though Kim excceded my expectations can I do the same with my husband can I take him from vanilla too sorbet???? that is my challenge. and to be his happiness and slave i want to be the thing he adores and admires and cherishes. maybe love later

I am so glad. totally did not eat right. but thoroughly spoiled myself with me time. hubby even visited a few times. though the last one I could have clocked him. I really hate all that lovey dovey crap and I wish he would go back to being normal. he is constantly fucking pawing all over me fixinh my hair my clothes, immediatly jumping if I’m looking for something like a damnned servant. what happenned to the fucking warrior? I know its the whole divorce thing so ill give him 4months to come back but I had to vent. I swear I saw him almost cry when we got to the airport almost missed the train. I just don’t like weak men. I felt the dominatrix coming out of me I don’t like that being a bitch is way too much fun to not be a sin and it exhausts me